That's Entertainment!

I was in NYC last week to take in several shows I just HAD to see. Though many of you might not be as obsessed with Broadway performances as I am, I thought I would give you some highlights of what is hot in the cooling City.

ALL MY SONS *** (Three Stars)


I love Arthur Miller and this may be one of my favorite plays of his (tie between "After the Fall")--but the cast and production of this particular production made me shiver a bit with the fallibilities and frailties of humanity painted inside one small family. John Lithgow is a genius, Dianne Wiest was more than imagination could make her, Patrick Wilson is still rising, and Katie Holmes, eh...she was ok. However, I will be writing a post all about running into Oprah and Tom Cruise at this production (I went the day after it opened, and apparently, so did all of Katie's supporters..it was absolute anarchy in the theater with two of America's biggest stars.) 

EQUUS **** (Four Stars!!)
This play, for me at least, addressed the question of a human's need to worship. Young Alan's parents remove the framed painting of Jesus from the young boy's room when they decide they don't want to be religious. In it's place, they give Alan (played amazingly brilliant by Daniel Radcliff) a picture of a horse instead...not realizing the the boy will take his need to worship deity and place that upon the horse. It asks the question...What are you worshipping that is crazy? Money? Fame? Acceptance? Material things? Yourself?

Equus is a play by Peter Shaffer written in 1973, telling the story of a psychiatrist who attempts to treat a young man who has a pathological religious fascination with horses.

Shaffer was inspired to write Equus when he heard of a crime involving a 17-year-old who had blinded six horses in a small town near London. He set out to construct a fictional account of what might have caused the incident, without knowing any of the details of the crime. The play's action is something of a detective story, involving the attempts of the child psychiatrist, Dr. Martin Dysart, to understand the cause of the boy's actions while wrestling with his own sense of purpose.

SPRING AWAKENING ***** (Five Stars out of Five!!!)

I saw this three hours after I landed on Thursday and it blew me away. The words, the music, the soulful actors, the message, the lights, the creation of the whole masterpiece and the way it made me feel. Definitely the highlight of musicals for me since RENT.


It's a little disconcerting to see 19th-century German schoolboys in the new musical "Spring Awakening" yanking microphones from inside their little woolen jackets, fixing us with baleful gazes and screaming amplified angst into our ears.

It is also exhilarating. When was the last time you felt a frisson of surprise and excitement at something that happened in a new musical? For that matter, when was the last time something new happened in a new musical?

A fresh breeze of true inspiration blows steadily through this ambitious if imperfect show, which features alluringly melancholy music by the pop singer-songwriter Duncan Sheik and book and lyrics by Steven Sater. "Spring Awakening," is an adaptation of the once-scandalous 1891 play by Frank Wedekind, the German playwright who is probably best known as the author of the source material for the Alban Berg opera "Lulu."


RELIGULOUS **** (Four Stars)
When Bill Maher's show was canceled, I had to think "What?!!! The title of the show was Politically Incorrect people, what were you expecting??!!!" But he is back now and better than ever. This documentary on religious zealots throughout the world had my attention from start to finish. And while it is not anti any one religion, or anti at all, I fear that the title alone will keep many people away from seeing an eye opening documentation of religion in our world. You may not agree, but with Bill, I'd say it's worth the watch and you can agree to disagree. And yes, he got kicked out of Temple Square when trying to film there.

From the New York Times

There is no arguing with faith. As the comedian and outspoken nonbeliever Bill Maher travels the world, interviewing Christians, Jews and Muslims in the facetiously funny documentary “Religulous,” you begin to wonder if there might be two subspecies of humans.

The skeptical minority to which Mr. Maher belongs constitutes 16 percent of the American population, he says, citing a survey. For many of them, including Mr. Maher, the tenets of Christianity, Judaism and Islam (Eastern and African religions are ignored) are dangerous fairy tales and myths that have incited barbarous purges and holy wars that are still being fought. A talking snake? A man who lived inside a fish? These are two of Mr. Maher’s favorite biblical images offered up for ridicule.

The majority of Americans, however, embrace some form of blind faith. But because that faith by its very nature requires a leap into irrationality, it is almost impossible to explain or to defend in rational terms.

RACHEL GETTING MARRIED **** (Four Stars--Real realism in its most real form...really)

This film, playing in only a few select states, shows Anne Hathaway as no one has yet to see her. Her portrayal of Kym at the wedding of her sister Rachel was truly a sight to behold. Michelle and I watched it in the small screening theaters at Lincoln Plaza. Oscar buzz should be heard soon.

"I don't think I've ever seen a wedding film that made me feel the way this one does, as if I wasn't just crashing the event but was part of the family. In a rehearsal dinner that sprawls on, the speeches are so revealing, stirring up so many awkward, touching crosscurrents, that it's as if you've known everyone in the room for years. That level of realism, as Robert Altman understood well, turns the most microscopic of interactions into drama, and that's the level Demme is working on here. It helps that the script is a fully woven web of love, jealousy, and enabling demons. After a while, Debra Winger shows up as the sisters' quasi-estranged mother, and she and Hathaway have a fight scene that's as raw as Ingmar Bergman and as operatic as Mildred Pierce."


DAVID SEDARIS ***** (Five out of Five!--delectably entertaining!!!!!)


I saw this here in Utah tonight. One of the most enchanting, amazingly funny writers of our time. I love this man!!

“I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, 'I need a letter opener. I guess I'll have to kill a deer.”

On learning French:

"I'd hoped the language might come on its own, the way it comes to babies, but people don't talk to foreigners the way they talk to babies. They don't hypnotize you with bright objects and repeat the same words over and over, handing out little treats when you finally say "potty" or "wawa." It got to the point where I'd see a baby in the bakery or grocery store and instinctively ball up my fists, jealous over how easy he had it. I wanted to lie in a French crib and start from scratch, learning the language from the ground floor up. I wanted to be a baby, but instead, I was an adult who talked like one, a spooky man-child demanding more than his fair share of attention. "

The Shape of Things

What is it like to grow up as a woman in a culture obsessed with perfection? 

Really, honestly, truly. What has it done to you?

Seems like a girl can't eat a carton of rice pudding these days without feeling a bit guilty about it. Does anyone remember when you could eat bread without worrying about this thing called CARBS? Those were the days. I'd come home from a long day at college and put together a delectable pb & j and never bat an eyelash at the white bread I was consuming each week.

What daily voices are in your head telling you that you need to change? At what point in your life do you finally stop falling prey to the luring magazine covers that represent the ideal body and life? What is it doing to all the women in America? What toll has it taken to hear the constant message that there is ALWAYS room for improvement? That's a loud and clear message being shouted from many directions each day.

And it is killing the souls of our beautiful sisters.

I see my students struggle with body image. I see the boys clinging to the ones that are skinny and well developed, I see the chubby ones, the ones with braces, the ones with intelligence, the ones with the senses of humor, the ones with acne--all getting ignored, ignored, ignored. I tell myself it will change, and it usually does. But it's so hard for them. They are constantly hearing the message  that men are more visually stimulated than women....and you MUST be attractive to find love!! Man, High School is rough, but hopefully boys figure out that they'd also like to carry on conversations..and eventually these girls will come into their own beauty.

But what about those women who just can't get past this search for perfection? We all know them, maybe we have been them...maybe we are them. Through my years in life I have known and seen the struggles of an eating disorder. I see daily the girls who can't meet anyone's gaze, I see the sadness at not being good enough glimmer in the eyes of girls who should be finding and rejoicing in their power. What a waste. And for what? Things have GOT to change.

No one is immune. You all have stories, don't you? I was eleven years old when I first started skipping meals because I was worried I was too big (I was a five foot ten inch swarthy sixth grader for pities sake! And I had glasses. And I had crooked teeth...let's talk about bad body image). I remember that at the time I was developing into a young woman, a new wave of ideal beauty was coming into fashion. It was the large lips, big eyes, and small nose of Julia Roberts. When the ideal beauty began to change, I would look into the mirror and I knew I didn't measure up. My features were too tiny, my lips too small, my eyes too nondescript. I would actually spend each night trying to stretch out my lips. I don't know if I really thought it was possible, but I was willing to try anything. At 14 and 15 I would pull on them, stretch them, try to make them into a fashionable pout...to no avail...and now these young women of today have Angelina Jolie and Keira Knightly to compete against! Seesh! We have GOT to do something. 

To me, the effect of this quest for perfection is having CATASTROPHIC effects on the women of our world.


The portrayal of the "ideal" woman today is usually that of a size 0 or lower, measuring at about 6 ft tall and weighing in at around 90 lbs. With so many of these unrealistic women being portrayed by the media, an epidemic has developed of women slowly killing themselves through such problems as low self-esteem, manic exercise, and even starvation.

I ask myself, can this REALLY be happening? 

Yes. It is. More than many of us realize.

I have often wondered what changes in the world could be made if so many women weren't worried about what they looked like or ate or needed to buy to feel better about themselves and they simply started putting that energy elsewhere. What if all the women who obsessed with their weight and outward appearance suddenly started volunteering in adult and children literacy programs? What if all that angst that was spent in counting calories and silently judging those you found lacking were actually spent in feeding the hungry, visiting the widows, serving your family and friends? What if all that energy was focused and bright and pure, instead of drowning and dark and ugly?

When I was 22, I listened to a speaker who told me that women were the Lord's secret weapon. That women hadn't realized how powerful they could be, but God knew, and he wanted us to start focusing that energy. That woman was Sheri L. Dew, and she was and still is, a HUGE influence in my life.

Imagine what would happen in this world if every morning millions of women prayed and asked God who he needed us to reach out to that day. And then imagine if we did it! Imagine if we consecrated our energy and our focus en masse to the greatest service of all, that of leading our sisters and brothers to recognizing their full potential. I am convinced that we would see the awakening and arising of a sleeping, slouching giant.

Is it possible, today, for you to make a difference in someone’s life, especially the members of your own family? None of us have to reach everyone. But what if we all reached someone? And then someone else? And so on. Can you imagine? Can you? Do you see it?

Luckily, I think most of us, as we age and grow, finally become accepting and loving of who we are. I've gotten into the habit of loving myself, something that didn't come so easily in my twenties. I've always just sort of taken people as they are, I've never felt a big desire to change others. When I read Morrison's The Bluest Eye for the first time, I remember going back over and over the part where she said that the idea of physical beauty is one of the most detrimental ideas in the world. I happen to agree with her. 

Certificate of Authenticity

I woke up this Sunday morning to so many beauties. The first snow fall of the season. All my left over blooms from September are dowsed in slushy snow, along with a white layer on my neighborhood. I've been down with a bad cold, but it couldn't stop me. I bundled up and went for a walk. As I walked alone on the quiet Sunday streets, I thought about living an authentic life. I read one of my dear friend's posts this morning and felt so much love for her and her husband's relationship and their growing family. These two are authentic in every thing that they do, and I encourage each of you to read her beautiful tribute. it will brighten your morning (the post dated 10/12).

Yesterday, as I was looking at my site meter, I saw someone from Pakistan had googled "find my soul mate" and they came upon that post I did a few months ago. Another person from Greece googled "I've found my soul mate and he is 30 years older than I am" and I felt happy that she had found her soul mate, but I really wondered what she thought google could give to her. So many random things typed into google every day--is that where we go to find life's answers these days? I have wondered that, does Google have all the answers to our questions? So, I decided to give it a try. I googled "Authentic Living." 

Here are a few great links I found:

Authentic Living: Creating a Life You Love
What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?
Who are you, really – and how can you be that unique expression of yourself?

We live in a world that is calling us into a search for authenticity, a quest for balance. In our jobs, we are searching for meaning as much as money. In our relationships, we are asking for spiritual and emotional connections, not just the physical presence of another. In our families, we are looking for ways to grow happily and love deeply. In our finances, we want to spend our money mindfully, achieving abundance and moving beyond greed. In our world, we want to live in harmony with the environment. In our daily lives, we are looking for ways we can make a difference. Spiritually, we are looking for that which resonates at a soul level. In our hearts, we are looking for our essence: what makes us unique and what it is that we hold in common with others.

We are redefining what success means, moving away from traditional standards of work and money toward a more soulful life focused on personal fulfillment, social conscience, and creating the chance for a better future for everyone on the planet.


Wow, isn't that powerful? Imagine if we all just woke up and began living our lives by focusing on our spiritual connections and awakening to the power of gratitude and action?

I also found this article "Six Principles of Authentic Living"


So, my questions to you---How important is it to you to live authentically? How do you daily strive to live this way?


(And, out of curiosity....what is the craziest thing you have ever searched for on google?)

Come Together, Right Now

(Family Photo 1994)

Yesterday during lunch I took out my phone to see several texts and messages awaiting me (which NEVER happens, I'm just NOT a phone person)

dad's been in an accident....

hospital....

broken back....

paralyzed.....

Wow. How do you go on after that? How is it that everything can change in a second? Life is powerful. When I left my class to my awesome principal (who took over in a matter of seconds) and rushed to the hospital, shaking, trying to tell myself that everything would be alright..I just thought of my family. I thought of what this would do to my family. We only recently lost my favorite Uncle, a man who has been in my life almost as much as my father has. My dad is now his age. My dad's health isn't that great. What could my family handle?

I rushed into the ER and saw it full of all my loved ones. My nieces and nephews looking scared, my sister April coming to hug me. Audra and her small daughter in her arms. Brooke just recovering from surgery. David with tears in his eyes. LOVE.


SO MUCH LOVE.

(D'Arcy, David, and April...Christmas 1996)

Everything IS alright. The doctors, who told us to prepare for the worst and wouldn't give us details, finally let us know. Bruises and broken ribs. Swelling and tenderness, but spinal cord in tact. He will be alright. My brother-in-law gave my father a priesthood blessing, and it was amazing. And it softened me a bit ( I said a bit!). Once the good news was given, it was like we couldn't leave each other. We just wanted to sit, no where to go, just sit by my father's side and have us all be together.

Now, my family has had it's struggles. A LOT of struggles. It's had problems. It still does. I was wondering if my brother would even come to the hospital because he usually doesn't put family first. But, he was the first one there. All five of us kids got to my mother and father's side within the hour. That's pretty amazing. I wish I could take the time to tell you how beautiful a sight it was. I wish I could let you know the struggles that my family has faced. The heartaches, the fights, the distance, the addictions, the hurt feelings, the misunderstandings, the battles against depression. Often it is as if all five of us children came from different countries and we all speak our own language that none of the others can ever understand. But it is nice to know that in a crisis...we all speak the language of love.

All of us stayed at my parents house last night, late into the evening. Eating dinner together and helping clean house. I found an old photo album from 1996. I was starting my second year of college and found so many fun photos that I scanned a few to put up here. I am STILL in touch with all of these girls. Jenn, Stacey, Emily, Holly.....these memories are for you! They were another family for me for many years.

Lest you doubt my past claims about being the apartment freak at 6 feet tall and the only blonde...here's a photo to prove it. ALL of these girls got engaged or married within two years of this photo. It almost looks like a set of quintuplets and me (right Jenn?) That's Jenn in the plaid skirt.

Yep, Holly and I REALLY did reenact scenes from Jane Austen. This is a scene we would do where I was Emma and Holly was Harriet. It was just an excuse to do my hair big and speak in a British accent...and drink tea. Yep, my cheeks are that red and always will be. It's my curse.

The best girlfriends a girl could have, still are.

So go out, give you family or friends a call. Tell someone you love them. Remember how blessed you are. Look into the eyes of the person next to you and really see them. Slow down. Breath. Live. Dream. Hope. 

Chemistry? Yeah Chemistry!!

One of the things I never really understood was how some relationships formed so easily. I seem to have only had troubled waters in this arena. When I was at BYU I was CONSTANTLY bombarded with hundreds of saccharine sweet engaged couples. Some getting married after only a few months of knowing of the other's existence. And I, completely baffled and incredulous, would ask how they KNEW it was right. More often than not, they would result to the syrupy cliche..."When it's right. It's right."

Um, yeah. Hasn't been that easy for me. But don't worry crowd, I'm not down about it. I love the way my life has played out!!

However, I just have to be curious. Was finding your mate easy for you? Did you know when your love came along?

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this clip from "Guys and Dolls" because Sky totally knocks Sarah off her feet. He comes in and turns everything she thought she knew about love completely upside down. Did you marry the person you thought you would? Did you find yourself falling for someone that was exactly opposite from everything you ever imagined, but when you met, you just knew? I find this the most fascinating question on earth....who do you decide to marry?



Have you ever been SO attracted to someone that you just couldn't describe it? My friend and I were talking the other day about what a funny thing chemistry is. We've both had strong physical attractions to guys that didn't treat us so well. But then when we have met super nice guys, there is NO chemistry whatsoever. Since she dates more than I do, we will talk about her. She has been casually seeing this guy who she has AMAZING chemistry with. Seriously a beautiful thing. He makes her heart pound, butterflies flutter, and all that sweaty palm stuff that makes those dates worth dressing up for. The problem is, he doesn't call very often, he is forgetful, and he doesn't really plan things. Then, she goes out with another guy, sweet as can be, so attentive, asks her questions!! I mean, seriously, ASKS her questions (I've really ever known one man to do this in my acquaintance, but apparently she has found another). He is reliable and nice. He does everything right.

And yet.

And yet.


NO CHEMISTRY.


Can there be both, or do you have to sacrifice one for the other?



It's the old, cliche dilemma. Do you go for Marlon or do you go for James? You know what I mean. James is sweet and kind and a listener and faithful. But, for me at least, I have NEVER wanted to pull James Stewart into a passionate kiss and have my way with him (some of you do, I know). Or, do you go for Brando, a little dark, a little melancholy, a little distant---but sweeps you off your feet with one piercing stare and you can't keep your hands off of each other? I could make out with a young Brando for hours. HOURS. Hours.

Hours.



My question is can chemistry grow? Can couples create a chemistry if given enough time? Or does it simply have to be there?

Those of you who are married, how did you know it was right? Is it timing or attraction or something else?

Something We can ALL Agree On!

Puppies are cute.

The Sacrament of Penance

Many religions, throughout history, have required the confession. When a member of a the Catholic faith or LDS faith commit larger sins, they are required to confess these sins to one in authority. The person is generally male (in the LDS religion it is ALWAYS a man) and this person is supposed to act as an agent of God to work on getting the person forgiven. I am not sure how the confession process works in other religions, like Baptist or Methodist. Is there a method of confessing?


Confession is called the "Sacrament of Penance" as:
1. the recipient must be truly repentant of their sins
2. be determined to avoid these sins in the future
3. be willing to make reparations to any parties injured

I believe that confession has been used for hundreds of years as a way to protect and enforce orthodox belief and practice. And the churches today have several methods for insuring adherence to orthodox belief-- excommunications, ecclesiastical courts, public expiation...and I have been wondering this week if this is simply cultivating within us a culture of guilt.

A question I have been thinking about this week is "why confess to a man you may not know, instead of to God directly?"

And what is the purpose of confession?

Have you found that when you confess something you feel better? Is a weight lifted? Does it purge your soul?

A dear friend of mine and I have been on similar paths this year. She has fallen away from the strict rules of the LDS church as much as I have. However, we differ in VERY large ways. I don't believe in these strict rules anymore and thus, I don't believe I am sinning (and I am not even sure how I feel about the way the word sin and especially SINNER is used so commonly in religion today). While I feel completely happy in my life, she has been tormented in her soul. While I have been wondering why I don't feel riddled with guilt (as I did for much of my life any time I thought I had done anything "wrong"). She has been sobbing and beating herself up and dying a little inside each day.

So last night she decided to confess to her Bishop. I found this whole process, a process I have engaged in before, completely insane. Why does some older man I have NEVER talked to or interacted with, a man who doesn't know me or doesn't know my situation...why does he have the right to tell me whether or not I should feel good or bad about myself?

Do these spiritual leaders really have the authority to tell you your standing with God?

She is a grown woman of 31. She has made wise decisions her whole life. She has hurt no one. She is one of the most beautiful and sensitive people I know. And yet, because she isn't meeting the standards she has been taught, she has felt lower than Gregor Samsa after he turned into the bug! (sorry, I just reread The Metamorphosis). After her confession she called me crying. I don't want to go into the details of how the LDS church deals with certain things, because I feel at this point in my emotions I could only paint it in a negative light. But let's just say I was less than pleased with what she told me had transpired.

Is confession merely something created by men to exercise some form of control over the masses (do this and this and you will be granted this reward)? Does is simply play into creating a religious hierarchy (it's actually quite similar to the old feudal systems)? It was often used as a method for discovering and eradicating heresy, is it so today?

Does is have any value?

I honestly don't know. I've been raised to believe that you must confess and forsake your sins to get to heaven.


I'd like to know if any of you have thought about this?