My Vagina Amazed Me

Reflections on why we need the Vagina Monologues 

more than ever before

“I found it quite unsettling at first, my vagina…..”

When I tell people that I’m doing the Vagina Monologues and that they should come, they usually laugh nervously and look away from me. Ok, the men I tell laugh nervously or condescendingly (what a cute little show for women—but we all know that the penis is king!). The women sort of shush me because I should absolutely NOT be saying the word  “Vagina” out loud, what if our mothers heard us?


“I did not think of my vagina in practical or biological terms. I did not, for example, see it as something attached to me….”
There is a deep seeded belief that this particular production is only for the “super feminist”.  I am going to ask all of you to put that notion aside. The V-Day movement is for all people with vaginas. It’s also for anyone who has known, cared for, listened to, comforted or loved someone with a vagina. It’s for those who have had their vaginas violated, for those who have had theirs cared for, for those who have never used theirs yet and for those who take their vaginas out for a night on the town regularly.

“I had to give up the fantasy, the enormous life-consuming fantasy, that someone was coming to lead my life, to choose direction, and to give me orgasms."

The experience I’ve had with the V-Day movement is one of the most meaningful of my life. It is one of the richest forums of combined women experiences. It’s a safe place for the Vagina. Let’s face it, the Vagina is in danger. The Vagina is constantly the focus of debate. The Vagina is constantly trying to be controlled. The Vagina has no rights to what happens to it.

The Vagina is under attack.

FACT: “In the aftermath of the 2010 midterm elections, women’s representation on Capitol Hill – already at a paltry 17 percent, in a nation where 51 percent are female – fell for the first time in history. In the media sphere, women continue to be seen but not heard, with less than a third of U.S. films featuring women protagonists, and only a third of that number even being directed by women.” *

FACT: “One needn’t look to policy or institutions to see how society strives to silence the voices of women. Whether it’s the way women in online spaces are swamped with violent threats when they dare to voice their opinions, or the way girls who speak openly about their sexuality are shouted down for being “dirty whores,” or the way rape survivors who go public with their narratives and “dare to take pleasure in their bodies and live their lives on their own terms deserve whatever they get,” sexism is just too stupidly obvious for any (conscious) person to ignore.”

FACT: “(Conservative) extremists’ (are) relentless (in their) assaults on contraception, affordable childcare, collective bargaining rights and healthcare reform. These are all issues that disproportionately affect women’s ability to pursue education and careers like their male counterparts – because last time I checked, men don’t have to worry about pregnancy endangering their health and employability.”

FACT: “There’s no hyperbole in classifying these attacks not as equivalent to violence against women, but as violence against women, period. When legislators endanger women’s lives by forcing fraudulent abstinence-only education on teen girls, or by stripping women of their right to life-saving contraception, they are by definition waging war on women. These legislators have carte blanche to violently pursue their goal of expelling women’s voices from the public sphere – not because women aren’t speaking up or fighting back, but because existing institutions have zero interest in representing women’s independent voices.”

"My Vagina is a shell, a round pink tender shell opening and closing, closing and opening. My vagina is a flower, an eccentric tulip, the center acute and deep, the scent delicate, the petals gentle but sturdy…”

It took me 27 years to get comfortable saying the word “vagina”. It took another three years after that to realize its beauty...my beauty. I don’t want it to take you as long as it took me.

I do not want it to be taboo. I do not want you thinking that I am somehow eccentric because I can talk about vaginas and orgasms and the clitoris without turning red in the face.

I do want women’s voices to be heard. I do want violence towards women to end. I do want women to be able to decide what happens with their very own bodies. I do want them to connect with themselves in ways that they may have remained disconnected. I do want them to love, love, love every part of themselves. I do want them to have daily orgasms of their own making (as I believe that is the number one thing that will lead us to world peace). 

I want you to know you.

And I sure as fuck do not want the government to come between the very special relationship that I have with my little pussycat.

*Facts were taken from this amazing article written by Echo Zen.

You can learn more about the V-Day movement here. 

That's Entertainment!

I was in NYC last week to take in several shows I just HAD to see. Though many of you might not be as obsessed with Broadway performances as I am, I thought I would give you some highlights of what is hot in the cooling City.

ALL MY SONS *** (Three Stars)


I love Arthur Miller and this may be one of my favorite plays of his (tie between "After the Fall")--but the cast and production of this particular production made me shiver a bit with the fallibilities and frailties of humanity painted inside one small family. John Lithgow is a genius, Dianne Wiest was more than imagination could make her, Patrick Wilson is still rising, and Katie Holmes, eh...she was ok. However, I will be writing a post all about running into Oprah and Tom Cruise at this production (I went the day after it opened, and apparently, so did all of Katie's supporters..it was absolute anarchy in the theater with two of America's biggest stars.) 

EQUUS **** (Four Stars!!)
This play, for me at least, addressed the question of a human's need to worship. Young Alan's parents remove the framed painting of Jesus from the young boy's room when they decide they don't want to be religious. In it's place, they give Alan (played amazingly brilliant by Daniel Radcliff) a picture of a horse instead...not realizing the the boy will take his need to worship deity and place that upon the horse. It asks the question...What are you worshipping that is crazy? Money? Fame? Acceptance? Material things? Yourself?

Equus is a play by Peter Shaffer written in 1973, telling the story of a psychiatrist who attempts to treat a young man who has a pathological religious fascination with horses.

Shaffer was inspired to write Equus when he heard of a crime involving a 17-year-old who had blinded six horses in a small town near London. He set out to construct a fictional account of what might have caused the incident, without knowing any of the details of the crime. The play's action is something of a detective story, involving the attempts of the child psychiatrist, Dr. Martin Dysart, to understand the cause of the boy's actions while wrestling with his own sense of purpose.

SPRING AWAKENING ***** (Five Stars out of Five!!!)

I saw this three hours after I landed on Thursday and it blew me away. The words, the music, the soulful actors, the message, the lights, the creation of the whole masterpiece and the way it made me feel. Definitely the highlight of musicals for me since RENT.


It's a little disconcerting to see 19th-century German schoolboys in the new musical "Spring Awakening" yanking microphones from inside their little woolen jackets, fixing us with baleful gazes and screaming amplified angst into our ears.

It is also exhilarating. When was the last time you felt a frisson of surprise and excitement at something that happened in a new musical? For that matter, when was the last time something new happened in a new musical?

A fresh breeze of true inspiration blows steadily through this ambitious if imperfect show, which features alluringly melancholy music by the pop singer-songwriter Duncan Sheik and book and lyrics by Steven Sater. "Spring Awakening," is an adaptation of the once-scandalous 1891 play by Frank Wedekind, the German playwright who is probably best known as the author of the source material for the Alban Berg opera "Lulu."


RELIGULOUS **** (Four Stars)
When Bill Maher's show was canceled, I had to think "What?!!! The title of the show was Politically Incorrect people, what were you expecting??!!!" But he is back now and better than ever. This documentary on religious zealots throughout the world had my attention from start to finish. And while it is not anti any one religion, or anti at all, I fear that the title alone will keep many people away from seeing an eye opening documentation of religion in our world. You may not agree, but with Bill, I'd say it's worth the watch and you can agree to disagree. And yes, he got kicked out of Temple Square when trying to film there.

From the New York Times

There is no arguing with faith. As the comedian and outspoken nonbeliever Bill Maher travels the world, interviewing Christians, Jews and Muslims in the facetiously funny documentary “Religulous,” you begin to wonder if there might be two subspecies of humans.

The skeptical minority to which Mr. Maher belongs constitutes 16 percent of the American population, he says, citing a survey. For many of them, including Mr. Maher, the tenets of Christianity, Judaism and Islam (Eastern and African religions are ignored) are dangerous fairy tales and myths that have incited barbarous purges and holy wars that are still being fought. A talking snake? A man who lived inside a fish? These are two of Mr. Maher’s favorite biblical images offered up for ridicule.

The majority of Americans, however, embrace some form of blind faith. But because that faith by its very nature requires a leap into irrationality, it is almost impossible to explain or to defend in rational terms.

RACHEL GETTING MARRIED **** (Four Stars--Real realism in its most real form...really)

This film, playing in only a few select states, shows Anne Hathaway as no one has yet to see her. Her portrayal of Kym at the wedding of her sister Rachel was truly a sight to behold. Michelle and I watched it in the small screening theaters at Lincoln Plaza. Oscar buzz should be heard soon.

"I don't think I've ever seen a wedding film that made me feel the way this one does, as if I wasn't just crashing the event but was part of the family. In a rehearsal dinner that sprawls on, the speeches are so revealing, stirring up so many awkward, touching crosscurrents, that it's as if you've known everyone in the room for years. That level of realism, as Robert Altman understood well, turns the most microscopic of interactions into drama, and that's the level Demme is working on here. It helps that the script is a fully woven web of love, jealousy, and enabling demons. After a while, Debra Winger shows up as the sisters' quasi-estranged mother, and she and Hathaway have a fight scene that's as raw as Ingmar Bergman and as operatic as Mildred Pierce."


DAVID SEDARIS ***** (Five out of Five!--delectably entertaining!!!!!)


I saw this here in Utah tonight. One of the most enchanting, amazingly funny writers of our time. I love this man!!

“I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, 'I need a letter opener. I guess I'll have to kill a deer.”

On learning French:

"I'd hoped the language might come on its own, the way it comes to babies, but people don't talk to foreigners the way they talk to babies. They don't hypnotize you with bright objects and repeat the same words over and over, handing out little treats when you finally say "potty" or "wawa." It got to the point where I'd see a baby in the bakery or grocery store and instinctively ball up my fists, jealous over how easy he had it. I wanted to lie in a French crib and start from scratch, learning the language from the ground floor up. I wanted to be a baby, but instead, I was an adult who talked like one, a spooky man-child demanding more than his fair share of attention. "