During a choice episode of Sex and the City, Carrie admits that it is hard to live with Aidan because she can no longer indulge in all of her SSBs--that's right... her SINGLE SECRET BEHAVIOR. You know, those little things that you do alone that we would never do in front of anyone-- like Charlotte said that she liked to stare at her pores in a magnifying mirror for at least an hour every night, but now she couldn't because her husband would think that it was weird. (which he would). So, as I came home from work today and pulled the fresh, organic, addictive salsa out of the fridge (so long Rice Pudding, you have been replaced!!), then pulled out the chips and dipped them right into the carton, I thought, "What am I doing!!! No self-respecting girl eats the salsa right out of the container, and double dips!" (note to my visitors, you probably don't want to eat my salsa). I got to thinking about other things that would be odd if I lived with someone (which I do, but we have such opposite schedules that often times we see each other as she is getting home and I am going to bed, so for all intents and purposes, I basically live alone.) You know you do these things too.
1. I read at least five books at a time, leave them strewn about everywhere where I want to read them...politics by the overstuffed chair, health books by the couch, my French language book on my desk, the tender stories and poems on my nightstands. Then, as I read, I just like to hear some parts out loud, so I will read them outloud, to myself, often.
2. I use my hairbrush as a microphone....a lot, usually to ABBA or DUFFY songs.
3. I like to pump up the Opera while I am cooking food and sing in my operatic voice....you should hear my version of "O Mio Babino Carro."
4. I like to clean my keyboard with q-tips, it makes me happy.
5. I like to put on Bridget Jones' Diary and quote it word for word.
6. Sometimes I just get an urge to try my belly dancing techniques to "Living La Vida Loca."
7. Before I work out, when I am zipping up my hoodie, I often sing "Eye of the Tiger" and jump around and punch the air like Rocky.
8. I come home and sometimes I just put on a pretty pair of high heels for no reason.
9. I talk to my plants in French.
10. I tell myself I am not going to eat anything else after dinner, then around 9 pm I have five keebler club crackers with crunchy peanut butter and jam....and I eat them very surreptitiously.
11. I look through magazines and tear out any picture I even remotely like, even if April hasn't read the magazine yet, then I put it in a big folder of pictures that I like. I have no idea what to do with this folder.....ahem, I mean, folders.
12. When I make dinner alone, I often pretend that I am the host of a cooking show, and I make up funny phrases for different methods and ingredients...picture Bob Ross, and instead of painting, he cooks. I am like the female, chef version of Bob Ross. "We don't make mistakes here, we just have happy accidents. " quote by Bob Ross.
13. When I do my pilates, I curse like a sailor, a big, burly, surly, drunk sailor....that stuff is *&#%$ hard!
14. Ever since a random layover in some crazy state (Wisconsin I think? or Minnesota?) I have a fondess for the Magic Bullet informercial and I watch it whenever I can, I especially love the part where Hazel comes out.
OK, dish! What do you do when no one is around?? I want to know your SSBs!