Sunday, January 11, 2009

A cliche is, in and of itself, cliche

Have you ever found yourself caught in the middle of a cliche?  

As a girl who values originality, authenticity, differences, variety, and the unknown, it came as quite a shock to realize that sometimes situations laden with cliche circumstances just float into your life when least expected (and you realize that you have become one of those annoying people you used to scowl at. ugh.) And yet, you've never felt anything less cliche in your life?

Have you ever experienced the old cliche of knowing someone for a week and feeling like it's been forever? Have you ever talked to someone for the first time and it was like it has been a regular part of your routine? How does that happen? What creates those connections? What makes it happen? Have you ever found yourself thinking a new thought, one you NEVER thought before, and yet it just sits right with your bones? These thoughts, these peoples, these deja vu moments...where do they reside within you before you actually know them? What's the germination period? When is the inception? Are we pregnant with these moments and then at uneventful times they are just born?

Is there an inner voice of knowledge that speaks to us of things we may have never known out loud? But when we finally hear its voice, we recognize it as being a deep part of ourselves? 

What is the best way to write your life story? For me, the best lives begin and continue and end with love, all types of love, because, when you think about it, love comes directly from our deepest integrity. When you love,  you honor and respect life.  When you live your life with love, honor, and respect, the story you create for your life is an ongoing romance. Is it true that "all you need is love?"  To love life is to enjoy every manifestation of life, and it might be more effortless than I ever thought. I had this belief that things worth fighting for, certain relationships, certain jobs, certain experiences were just going to be hard. That was the deal. That was what I was taught to believe. Play games. Work it. Make rules. Play by the rules. Do things this way for these results. Strategize.

And then, something good comes along and it is as effortless as inhaling and exhaling....and you get blown away by the simplicity of just breathing.


Ruahines said...

Kia ora D'Arcy,
It can be difficult for us to let go of "expectations" and "rules" and simply be guided by our natural rhythms and feelings, that innate knowing inside. We feel the gaze upon us from so many quarters to "do the right thing". As I put on my shirt and tie this morning for the first time in a month I wondered what for? Money? Obviously, but as last year was one where Tara and I finally found something of our real path together, I feel this one will teach us new lessons on doing more with less. And after a big cuddle from Charlie, who was sad I had to return to work, that was very easy to accept. I don't know exactly what that is, but I do not fear the path I am on. So when you breathe effortlessly and are blown away, by love, by Nature, by a friend, by a moment, I write enjoy the feeling and relish in it! You are going to have an amazing year my friend. Kia kaha.

Steve and Jenn Fletcher said...

What is the best way to write your life story?

Don't waste your time on anything frivolous enough that you will regret it while on your deathbed.

That's how I hope I am writing my story. Sounds cliche? Certainly not effortless.

My good friend delivered twins at 25 weeks gestation via emergency c-section a week ago and one of the babies died. The other is struggling to stay alive. I went to the funeral yesterday and tomorrow I am going over to her house to help her because she can't lift her three year old (or even a gallon of milk).

Death has been on my mind all week. Sometimes life is hard.

My friend is such a good example to me. In June, she lost her home to the floods here in Iowa and now she lost a baby. Yet, yesterday at the funeral, she was the one to comfort the rest of us with her love and inner-strength. She is the kind of person who spends every waking moment helping others and making the world a better place.

That's how I want to write my story.

Olivia said...

I think the effortless moments come in waves. Sometimes life is a struggle, sometimes you have to fight towards your goals and dreams, and other times life gives you a little push, and you coast along towards your hopes and dreams...

The thing I like about the image of writing your life story is none of us will have the same experience. Each of our lives is 'tailored made'.

Katherine said...


I seem to find myself in the middle of these "cliche" moments when I least expect it, when I'm not looking for it, when I am still and let go of my fear to embrace things simply for what they are. I do think there are things that I want that are hard, that I have to fight for, but I've found that those times push me to a place where the simplicity of breathing is wonderful and I can see and accept that where I could not before.

A cliche is "something that has become overly familiar or commonplace." Overused. I myself have gagged many times over cliches and the people who were living them, but as you said, sometimes you find yourself in a situation where it just rings true with your body and soul and suddenly... it's no longer a cliche, it's part of who you are.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that until you live and experience things for yourself, everything could be cliche. To me, finding something or someone that makes your soul sing is like experiencing a magnificent sunset, not sitting in a car or looking through a kitchen window, but from a new vantage point, a hillside that feels like home, where the vivid colors paint your skin and everything you can see, even the air that you breathe. Everything looks different, feels different, and yet it is the same. Sometimes it comes after excited anticipation, sometimes it comes after frustration and tears, and sometimes it is a surprise, but every time it takes my breath away. I find beauty in the light of the setting sun and to me it feels like home, but to others it may be nothing more than a cheap postcard that says "Hello from Florida!" Another sunset, how cliche.

I too am trying to figure out the best way to write my life story. I could literally write it in a journal I guess, but right now I want to write it in my heart and the hearts of those I love. How? Living, dying, breathing, laughing, crying, joy, sorrow...? Maybe the best way to write my story is simply just to live it and let it be mine.

Sorry for the rambling. I love your posts, D'Arcy.

Gustav said...

A few weeks ago I bumped into a quote that is a part of my inner voice.

The quote went like this:

"I do not wish to carefully plot a safe course through life and then arrive safely at death. I wish to take a few risks and know that I lived and not existed to merely die".

Loving anything carries many risks. Love can hurt. Love is difficult but worth the risk. Loving is living.

Imagine a life of HATING? The words itself creates a vacuum of death as I type the letters on my key board.

Love is the Way to Life. Breathe deeply my friend.

Kristan said...

"And then, something good comes along and it is as effortless as inhaling and exhaling....and you get blown away by the simplicity of just breathing."


I would say, just enjoy it.

(Lovely post.)

smiles4u said...

Beautiful post that has given me much to think about today. I think we are each writing our lifes story each and every moment we are alive and with what we leave behind us after we die, as our legacy.
For me, I live and breathe love because it is something that is very important to me. It comes easy for me...maybe, because of the path I have been on and what I have learned. I could not imagine living a life of hate or bitterness...those things seem foriegn to me.

In my love relationships, I used to think that in order to be good, that they were hard work. Now that I am married to the love of my life, I came to realize that is not the fact, from the very beginning, it was so simple and easy to be with him and now that we have been together for awhile, it is still so easy to be with him and it has gotten even better. It feels like we have always been together and even from the beginning it felt like we just "fit". I don't take this lightly or for granted because up until him, it was not easy.

I also find, that for myself, in developing connections with other people, I know almost right away that there is a natural draw or connection...with some people it feels like I have always known them. I feel deja vu moments a does my husband.

I love this post, my friend!

mapelba said...

What is the best way to tell your story?

The way that is available whatever it takes and don't wait for perfection.

Alisa said...

Great post. I loved reading it.

Have you heard the Beatles album for Cirque de Soleil (sp? too lazy to check) and their show "Love"? Amazing.

Rowena said...

Just breathing.

You hit the nail on the head.

It all comes down to just breathing and being present in the breath. How cliche is that? How overused? We breathe how many times a minute, an hour a day?

Each one a miracle? Each one the act of living. Every breath precious?

How easy to let it slide, and how hard to truly recognize the very breathing for the story it is.

ophelia rising said...

Love is the most important thing. I will always, always believe that, no matter how trite or unimaginative it sounds!

Love of people, love of self, love of earth, love of art, love of living - love takes many forms, but the outcome is the same. Beautiful, positive, healthful, vibrant, alive living. You are these things, D'Arcy. You are clearly on the path. You are aware, and so alive. xoxo