Saturday, December 15, 2007

Yippee-ki-yay!!!


That's right three things helped me get warmed by the Spirit of Christmas. I feel all cozy and soft inside (the softness may be from the sugar cookies), but nevertheless...It's like I am wrapped in a big pair of fuzzy socks made by a little Russian grandma...

The things that have helped me chill out:

1. I will not read The Economist, The New York Times, The L.A. Times, listen to NPR, or do anything else political until January 2.

2. My three year old nephew leaned over to me last night as we were looking at the glowing tree and whispered, "Aunt D'Arce, did you know Santa is magic?"

3. Bruce Willis--you heard right!
Bruce and I go way back to 1988--when my father took me to see Die Hard during the Christmas season, I was 11 years old, and many of you may judge my father harshly for doing that, but I can't thank him enough. Every Die Hard since has been a daddy-daughter date and we have never been disappointed. It's the perfect Christmas movie. Many of you may think--What about Little Women, what about Rudolph, what about The Christmas Story (that's the perfect Thanksgiving movie by the way), what about....but you're wrong. It's Bruce all the way. I watched Die Hard last night, and I watched Die Harder today...and I haven't felt the joys of the season like I do when I see the faulty gun logistics, Bruce's ever changing hair lines and tank tops, the absolutely unbelievable and impossible stunts, his wife's ratted hair and blue eyeshadow, Alan Rickman as only Alan Rickman can be....ahh, makes you want hot cocoa, doesn't it?

And so, my gift to you, a quote from Die Hard:


Hans Gruber: Mr. Mystery Guest? Are you still there?

John McClane: Yeah, I'm still here. Unless you wanna open the front door for me.

Hans Gruber: Uh, no I'm afraid not. But you have me at a loss. You know my name but who are you? Just another American who saw too many movies as a child? Another orphan of a bankrupt culture who thinks he's John Wayne? Rambo? Marshal Dillon?

John McClane: Was always kinda partial to Roy Rogers actually. I really dig those sequined shirts.

Hans Gruber: Do you really think you have a chance against us, Mr. Cowboy?

John McClane: Yippee-ki-yay, #$@!&*.