Monday, August 18, 2008

Guilty Confessions and What to Do About Them?

Alright, it is confession time. Are you ready for that inner look into my psyche and what the bigger picture of D'Arcy really means? I am sure you are clasping your hands in anticipation and dire excitement. But be prepared, some of these confessions ARE NOT pretty. Got it?! As Bridget Jones says in her diary..."it's time to tell the truth, the whole truth..."

I'd really like your kind interpretation of these following confessions, or in turn, confess something yourself. That's right, pretend that we are all best of friends (um...who won't ever actually see each other in real life) so you can just put whatever you want out there....lie on your couch if it helps.

CONFESSION #1

I have been eating an obscene amount of rice pudding. I have NEVER been partial to rice pudding before in my entire life. Then, on a whim a few weeks ago I bought European Style Rice Pudding from these guys (and yes, the expose on the secret life of pudding is truly fascinating!!). Seriously, I eat at least a half carton a DAY. It has replaced all other forms of nutrition for me. Do you think I don't get enough calcium and my body is trying to replenish? I don't like milk...actually, let me rephrase, I don't like skim, 1 %, 2 % milk. I LOVE whole milk, especially if I have a big brownie with it, but since I don't go around drinking whole milk, I usually just pass milk by. But I must be calcium deficient or something to explain this odd phenomenon that is RICE PUDDING!

I dream of this rice pudding, I wake up and crave this rice pudding, I go to bed with the taste of it in my mouth. I eat rice pudding for lunch instead of celery, I eat rice pudding with dinner instead of a protein...I can't stop eating this rice pudding!!

CONFESSION #2

I have to have a large spoonful of crunchy peanut butter every day about 4 pm. I just get out a huge spoon, dip it in, scoop out a glump that any Baskin Robbin's server would be proud of and savor it for about five minutes. It's like a Peanut Butter Pop...or Peanut Butter on a Spoon (much better than Hot Dog on a Stick if you ask me...yuk!). And I am very particular about the kind. And it grosses my sister out, and probably anyone else who saw my addiction too.

CONFESSION #3

I have no clue about the Olympics. I don't even have TV. I get one or two channels kind of hazy like, but they cut out so much that it is not worth it. BUT--that's just a sorry excuse. Even if I had 5,000 channels to my name, I still might not watch it. OK, I wouldn't watch it. At all. I've never been a fan of the Olympics. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Don't hate me.

I don't know who ANYONE is that you nicely write about on your blogs, or casually mention to me over dinner, or bring up in conversation. I just pretend that if you like them, then sure, I like them too, I mean, they made it to the Olympics and they haven't beaten up Nancy Kerrigan, then what's not to like, right? I seriously have no idea what they do, who they are, how hard they have worked to get there. I didn't even watch the opening ceremonies. I just don't care. It's never captured me. EVERY time that they come on again, I TRY to care. Or I try to care about who wins the next bid, or I TRY to care because as a human being on this planet I feel that I SHOULD care. 

Occasionally during the Winter Games I'll watch some ice skating, but that's about it. Even when the Olympics were in UTAH, my home state, I was like the ONLY person not volunteering or enjoying in all the festivities in SLC. I think I came down once, with Michelle, and we got our photos taken in a huge snow globe and there were too many people and I don't like large crowds, so I went home and vowed not to go into the "city" until the madness was over.

Am I unpatriotic? Not liking the Olympics is like not liking dogs or babies, right? Oh! The horror!!

CONFESSION #4

It's full moon time and, Tom Robbins has completely described me, "My lunar sign is in Virgo. Every month when the moon is full, I am driven to balance my checkbook and straighten up my apartment. I can't help myself. Instead of a werewolf I turn into an accountant." This is ME to the last check and balance. I LOVE being organized. I crave it. My sister cries tears for me to stop! And I can't! It's a sickness! I love paying all my bills at the first of the month. I love writing lists and getting things all checked off. I love putting everything in its place. AHHHHH!!! I wish I could be one of those really easy going people who tosses something somewhere and then leaves it there for a month until it is needed again, but I just can't! Woe is me! (said dramatically as I place one hand on my fevered brow...aren't all brows just a little fevered to be romantic?)

CONFESSION #5

I want to own several chickens and a cow. 

Excuse me! Did you just hear what I said? That wasn't the reaction I wanted, you were supposed to gasp in horror and disbelief that this career woman/feminist/loves fashion girl just said that!!! 

Go back and read that sentence again please, cause that's never come outta this girl's mouth before!!

I don't know how to ever do this being the single city girl that I am. But I crave fresh, brown eggs and fresh, whole, raw milk (hmmm, and then maybe I could make my OWN rice pudding with it....ah, see where my mind goes?) And I want the sun to shine a continuous golden hue on my blond hair, and I want to wear white sundresses and go barefoot and pick wild flowers after coming away from milking the cow and still smelling like bananas and vanilla. It's a vision in my head that won't go away. I NEVER thought the day would come where this girl would admit that she would like a little farm land in some quiet area of the world. WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME?!


OK, enough.


I go back to work this week. The blogs will be fewer and farther between. It's been one amazing summer...full of rice pudding and Olympics ignorance and crunchy peanut butter, and organizing my sock drawer.....good times all. The other good thing about summer coming to an end, I can eat meat again! That's right, and I'll be off to Buenos Aires in a few weeks and there will be MEAT, apparently the best meat in the world. We will see. I'm not that big of fan of red meat, but maybe BA will change my mind.


Enjoy the rest of your hazy, crazy days of summer (do you remember that Gilmore Girls episode where that song was sung about a 1,000 times? The best episode EVER.)

39 comments:

Steve and Jenn Fletcher said...

(Gasp!) D'Arcy...you like Gilmore Girls...too? Oh my gosh, I am a big closet Gilmore Girls fan. I truly believe in a perfect world we would all work at a Bed n' Breakfast and spit out lightening-fast witty remarks while looking like a total babe!

And the ONLY part of the Olympics I ever watch is the gymnastics in the summer and the figure skating in winter. Unpatriotic? No way. I know all four verses to the Star Spangled Banner! But who can watch hour after hour of swimming...or running...or wrestling. (Sometimes until 2 AM...seriously, people do that.) Bah!

I've had that rice pudding, too, you are not a kiddin'. It's divine. I miss it. And I miss crunchy peanut butter. (I am now allergic to both of those things.) Will you PLEASE eat them in copious amounts and enjoy them for the both of us?

And I envy your situation, once again, in the organizational department. Whatever I clean and/or organize at this house, is--without fail!--ripped from its proper place by 5 o'clock PM! I miss order...

I really think I am living vicariously through you. Sick, isn't it?

Kate Lord Brown said...

Best rice pudding story I ever heard was the old couple who lived near my grandmother. The old boy would say 'My Florrie makes the best rice pudding ...' He'd eat a whole serving bowl every day (you are not alone). During one visit my grandmother was tidying up in the kitchen with Florrie and said 'you must give me the recipe'. Florrie glanced over her shoulder to check the coast was clear, and took her into the pantry. Row upon row of cans without labels 'It's Ambrosia (tinned UK rice pudding). I fed it to him after we got married and I've never had the heart to tell him I can't make it myself.' Enjoy D'Arcy - it's obviously the secret to a long and happy Ambrosial life.

Stina said...

Oh, the therapy blog. I love it!

You know how dangerous it is to mention something delicious to a pregnant woman, right? I don't think I have ever enjoyed rice pudding but after reading your description of it, I am dying for some. I guess I will have to make do with the oreo shake from Arctic Circle that my friend is bringing me for lunch, after I saw a commercial for it on TV. (I guess that counts as my first confession in this comment.)

Another food confession, along the lines of peanut butter: I made myself a PB and Honey sandwich last week but told myself it didn't "count" as lunch so I ate another lunch 2 hours later.

Okay, I love the Olympics but the TV schedule is messing with my sleep schedule so I've been constantly tired all week.

I am also a crazed maniac when it comes to paying bills and being organized, so I fully appreciate your sickness.

I cannot relate whatsoever to your farmgirl dream. It involves too much time outside and not enough time inside with the AC on.

Have a wonderful trip to BA! I love your fabulous life!

HappyWifeHappyLife said...

D'Arcy..... I am herewith withdrawing my friendship and all its rights and privileges POST-HASTE.

KIDDING. :-)

You really had me laughing, girl!
These were NOT shocking confessions. At all. But they WERE funny!

1) I'm down with the rice pudding. My mom went through a phase when I was in middle school where she made rice pudding all the time. The family gladly ate it. I haven't had it in years but it's quite good.

2) As much as I HATE TV, I love the Olympics. So, I've been watching a lot of TV lately. Love that Michael Phelps, Shawn Johnson, Nastia Luken, Dara Torres, and ALL the other athletes, no matter where they're from. I LOVE the fact that human beings can compete, athletically, on such am amazing scale, and that the human body can do SUCH phenomenal things. Don't take this the wrong way, but you're missing out.

3) My son is obsessed with peanut butter and eats a gigantic spoonful every single day as well. (He prefers creamy though - not crunchy.)

4) I too am a Virgo and LOVE things to be very orderly and in their place. However, I married someone who does NOT share that love and in fact, is the polar opposite of me in that (and in many other) regards. Therefore my house vacillates between being ridiculously orderly and woefully unkempt. ONE DAY (when my kids are grown and I have broken my husband's spirit... this last bit is a joke.... sort of) my house will ONCE again be orderly and everything will have its place. I have a tremendous sense of personal price and general well-being in a clean house, where everything is in its place. (But I also realize that marriage is ALL about the fine art of compromise...)

5) I have no desire for chickens or cows but I would love to live in a more rural setting with horses and plenty of land. And a big vegetable garden.

Enjoy your last week of freedom!

Your pal,
HWHL

KingdomWriter said...

Oh candid confessions... How refreshing! I will confess to never having had rice pudding and eating the kids nutella with a spoon when no one is looking...
Enjoy Buenos Aires and the meat, sounds yum! : )

Olivia said...

So my freshmen year of college I was broke broke broke and living with roomates and driving this 87 Honda Accord that one of the sister missionaries named Wanda. I gave them rides to Walmart every Saturday for over a year, and poor Wanda got picked on A LOT. Anyway, because I was so poor and pitiful, everyday for lunch I had creamy peanutbutter with some m&ms. I carried a huge tub of peanutbutter in my backpack and a ziplock baggy of m&ms (I bought them in the big family bag, much cheaper) and a plastic spoon. I'd pour my m&ms into the lid of the peanutbutter jar, take a huge spoonful of peanutbutter, and dip it in. Yes, many people found me disgusting, but it worked for me and gave me enough energy to get through classes and work.

One day we shall have to have a Gilmore Girls marathon, watch and discuss our favorite episodes...my obsession prompted dear Fai to buy me all seven seasons, lol.

Alisa said...

I haven't had rice pudding in years. Now, at work, I am racking my brain to think of where I can get some rice pudding now! Why can't there be a grocery store within 10 blocks of here? Why?!

I don't watch much of the Olympics. Probably 45 minutes total, and that's entirely because I've been on two vacations in the last 10 days. I did the same thing when the Olympics were in Salt Lake. Now I feel guilty I didn't relish in them more. Too many names of athlete celebrities I'm supposed to know.

jomama said...

haha. your confessions made me laugh, d'arcy! you're so cute! i don't get the rice pudding thing, but that's ok, unto each his or her own, right? and there are definitely worse things you could be craving.
i love creamy peanut butter. you weirdos that like crunchy, i just don't understand you. :)
i used to be hyper-organized like you. i remember one summer when all the clothes in my closet were organized by type and then color. i'm weird. i love my house to be clean but like jenn i think said, it gets messed up two seconds after i clean. a little disheartening. oh well.
you know i heart gilmore girls! that is a really great episode, and after i saw it i went around singing "those crazy hazy lazy days..." for a couple of weeks. SERIOUSLY catchy tune.
when exactly will you be in buenos aires? that sounds amazing.

Jessica said...

D'Arcy,
I love your confessions
My favorite is the rice pudding. Where do you buy it? You could make good money in sales, btw.
:)

D'Arcy said...

Jenn Fletcher--Why are you in the closet about Gilmore Girls...because it was on the teenage drama channel of the WB--because it makes you secretly want to go back and be 18 again so you can go to Yale? Because you care way too much about Dean's hairlength in subsequent seasons? Because, no matter what anyone else says, you just KNOW that Rory and Jess were meant to be?

Yeah, I hear ya.

But I've always been pretty open about my liking of them. However, I do keep in the closet that sometimes, at parties or other social situations there will arise a moment when I get to pull out a totally Lorelia phrase....like I seriously said to someone the other day who was talking about his road trips (Wow, you're a regular Jack Kerouac, aren't you? (from the pilot episode)) and that guy didn't get what I was saying either!

Sorry to rub the pudding in your face, you healthy, gluten intolerant girl!

D'Arcy said...

Kate! I love that story! I can't believe he never caught on. In fact, my grandmother did it with us my entire childhood. She always had "homemade stew and bread" for us....later I found out the stew was from a can and the bread was rhodes bake and serve...seriously, the times on the playground I roughed up some kid for saying their granny made better bread than MY granny!

D'Arcy said...

Stina--should I bring some pudding to the book club meeting?

Oreo shake sounds good.

I think you only have alittle bit longer of being hobbit like and having two lunches! Enjoy! I lived off of PB and H during college (wow, remember the time before you feared what white bread was doing to your thighs, and you just looked at the fat content and saw how low in fat it was and thus ate toast and sandwiches all day long?! Those were the days!)

D'Arcy said...

HWHL--again, I have NO idea who any of those people are that you mentioned!

I am glad our friendship has survived this first "rocky" experience!

D'Arcy said...

KingdomWriter! Good to see you again. I visited your blog the other day and it was all about the Olympics and I had nothing to say. I am sorry.

Nutella rocks! I love it on a good, warm baguette!

D'Arcy said...

Olivia, I totally remember WANDA! I think you may have given me a ride or two in her when I was on my mission! I think I remmber the peanut butter thing too, and being a little disturbed....not about the combination, just the fact that you pulled this five pound container of peanut butter out of a backpack. That was shocking, but it helped me realize what an original you were....and are!

D'Arcy said...

Alisa--your text message a little while ago about where to find the rice pudding in the grocery store seriously had me laughing hard!

Did you see on the website there is a video on the SECRET LIFE OF PUDDING?

I am dazzled by this whole company!!

D'Arcy said...

jo--if I told anyone MY closet confessions of organization, it would send all of you running! I am NOT kidding.

I'll be in BA (with a side trip to Uruguay) from September 10 (chelle's 31st birthday) to September 15 (my 31st birthday) we diva's know how to have a party!

D'Arcy said...

Jessica, it is back by the yogurt at Albertsons. I tried Smiths today because I was there buying produce, and no luck. So I had to stop by Albertsons simple for the pudding and guess what--IT WAS ON SALE. I bought FOUR containers...which should hopefully tide me over until Saturday, but I make NO promises!

It's like Cafe Rio. I keep thinking one of these days I am just going to get tired of eating there and I NEVER do.

Rowena said...

1. Rice pudding, yuck. But make it heath klondike bars and you got yourself a deal.

2. I don't do the peanutbutter spoons anymore. But I do eat pepperoni straight. :)

3. DITTO. I know that guy with the funny ears got a lot of medals. And the chinese gymnasts are all too young.

4. I am an utter slob... except I am also pretty organized, and people have tried to get over on me because they see slob and think I'm disorganized, but I'm not. I'm just a piler, not a filer, that's all.

5. Me too... but maybe a goat not a cow. Or an alpaca. Cows seem very big to me. And I have almost black hair, not blonde for the sun to shine on, but that's okay. People don't expect the farmgirl yen from citygirl me.


Good confessions. No guilt. No guilt.

smiles4u said...

Great post...to tell you the truth I didn't think your confessions were too bad...I for one, do not like rice pudding but know many people that do. As far as the peanut butter goes...I love peanut butter...my favorite is the all natural crunchy peanut butter, I could eat it every day! I do watch some of the olympics since I am kinda of a sports lover.
Although, I am not a virgo, I tend to be one that likes things in their place and can't leave things laying around and even though my house is not spotless like it was a one time(which is a good thing I guess)it is usually pretty clean..and I too like to pay my bills right away...hate being late.

Now the part about the chickens and cow...because I grew up on a large farm and we worked All of the time, tending to the cows, chickens and many other animals I have said I would never want to live on a farm again. But, now if I lived in the county it wouldn't be that bad to have some chickens but I don't think I would want a cow.

My confessions would be that I am very fascinated with vampires...love vampire movies. I have an obsession with candles...can never have enough of them and if it weren't for having little ones again, I would almost always have a bunch of candles lit all of the time. I also love vegging out and watching hours of movies...doing nothing but laying down with the blinds shut and losing myself in movies and only stopping to eat some really good junk food or something I really like to eat. Not that I EVER get to do this anymore..it's one of the things I miss doing.

Thanks for stopping by my blog..your comments are great. I finally had a chance to check yours out and I really like it. I love the pictures you take and the stories you tell. You have a very interesting life and part of me envys that. Glad you have had a good summer with all that puddin eatin!

Michelle said...

Don't like rice pudding, peanut butter, or balancing my check book but I sure didn't watch any Olympics either. None. Nada. Zip.

We're meant to be friends.

barney6 said...

Hey D'Arce! Loved the confessions. :-)

As for rice pudding, I honestly don't think I've ever had any, but you talked me into it. I'm going to try some. Soon. I myself, am a cereal freak. During college I ate it for all three meals and probably could still live like that, but I feel driven to set a better example for my poor children.

There have been times in my life that I watch the olympics, but as we have no TV now, it hasn't happened at all this time and I don't miss it. :-(

I am also ultra-organized and, well, let's just say it, bordering on obsessive-compulsive. Know what I mean?

Mmmm.. peanut butter. Nothing strange about that one!

Love to have chickens one day! I'm thinking it would make an excellent homeschool project and those fresh eggs! Yum again!

Gilmore Girls: Love it, miss it, why, oh why, could it not go on forever???

D'Arcy said...

Rowena--I can't describe what this crazy rice pudding phase is for me. I wonder if this is how pregnant women feel, this indescribable urge for something never craved before?

My friends had a goat when i was growing up, at this point in time I wasn't very used to animals, we simply had a cat. I slept over at her house when I was 8 years old and the next morning she said,

"Would you like cereal for breakfast?"

"Sure." I said, sounded good to me.

"Great, we just need to go and milk the goat." She responded calmly and normally!

I had warm goat milk on cereal that morning and tried not to gag...I never slept over again, I was totally traumatized.

However, i would LOVE a goat now if I hadn't had an unfortunate incident of food poisoning last year with some goat cheese. I used to LOVE that stuff, now it makes me vomit. So sad, these food aversions!

D'Arcy said...

smiles4u--maybe you better paint that cow image for me in the proper light so I know what I am getting into....

the ideal would be the my NEIGHBOR had a cow and I could just buy raw milk from them...

I'll have to remember that when I am buying that home in the countryside one day.

D'Arcy said...

Michelle--we are meant to be friends, after your posts i kind a want a unibrow.

D'Arcy said...

barney--you are TOO much! You do such amazing things with your kids, and YOU have no tv?! (does that mean you don't secretly sit down and watch arrested development reruns when your kids are asleep? Wow, I don't think I could do it. But maybe tv, just not my dvd player.

Yes, try the Rice Pudding, but try and get it from the Kozy Shack people, they are the only ones I am endorsing, I think the kind in the little jello pudding cups are nasty and taste processed!

Got Bombshell? said...

Girl, I gave your blog a mystic-crystal-esque award on my blog. Because it's fabulous!

Gustav said...

D'Arcy

Thanks for making this summer so memorable for all of us.

Stina said...

D'Arcy: food cravings and food aversions? Are you sure there isn't something going on that you aren't telling us about?!

Alisa said...

I found the rice pudding (Kozy Shack, of course). I've tried two kinds, regular and Eurpoean style, and my cat and I both agree--it's delicious!

barney6 said...

D'Arce: Okay, let me clarify. We do have a TV and a DVD player. We do NOT have any sort of TV service: rabbit ears, cable, satellite... We watch plenty of movies and I like to watch TV shows on DVD. I mean, seriously, why waste a whole season? Just have a TV marathon and watch them all in a couple of days. :-) Thanks for the rice pudding advice, I'll look into that.

D'Arcy said...

Stina! i about choked on this pudding I am eating. I actually have wondered if the cravings for pudding at all resemble what a pregnant woman feels. But I am very aware of my unpregnant state. My sister makes sure of that! She just informed me today that my eggs are only a few years away from being REALLY old, apparently after 35 in this country you are at risk for everything and all the doctors look down their noses at you for having a baby so late in the game....I guess I should say in Utah...cause in NY the moms are all 40.

D'Arcy said...

Yes! Another convert! Way to go Alisa!!


barney6--I get it, alright, you're back to being human again...that's how I live too, and for another guilty confession, I can't wait to get Ugly Betty Season 2 for my birthday!! Wahoo!! (I never liked it until I gave it a real try with the DVDs--I can't be tied to the tv all week!)

Marie said...

I remember my KozyShack addiction. I'm more partial to the tapioca and chocolate, but I love the rice pudding as well. When I finally forced myself to look at the side of the cartons (and there were a stack of at least seven empty KozyShack cartons in my tupperware cupboard at any given time) I realized that the pudding probably accounted for 4.7 of the 5 pounds I'd put on so I had to make a new rule for myself: I can only have pudding if I make it myself. Sadly, this diet tactic only worked well until I became lightning-fast at making the Joy of Cooking's Old-Fashioned Chocolate Pudding which is also very good and very fattening. In fact, there are two bowls of it waiting for me at home. Mmmmmm....

And I'm with you 100% on the Olympics. In fact, I'm not just indifferent to the Olympics, I'm almost annoyed by it. I've never been fond of sports and the intensely nationalistic/patriotic aspect of the Olympics is particularly icky to me. I think I'd like sports and especially the Olympics better if athletes and teams didn't have to be attached to a particular city/state/nation -- if we could just admire an athlete or team for their excellence as human beings. I mean, very often the athletes weren't born or raised in those places anyway, so what's the point in calling them "ours" and getting all worked up about it as if they represent something essential about us? I also get annoyed with my countrymen patting themselves on the back for having so many medalists. We have the resources to pour ridiculous amounts of money into the training of our athletes that many other nations don't have. So really when we congratulate ourselves, it should be with a, "good for us -- we have the best athletes that money can manufacture!"

I think I could enjoy owning chickens, but a cow... that's ambitious. And smelly.

Great post!

Sugar said...

I'm finally back on line. Amazing how that instant bill pay can screw you up... anyway... been dying to tell you how much I LOVE RICE PUDDING!!! It is the dessert of heaven, I'm sure of it! How can you say no to another helping of creamy, ricey, yummy goodness? You can't!

As for the Olympics... ME EITHER! Have not had the slightest interest in the whole thing. Maybe it's because I hate the way China treats it's people... I just can't get into it... But also, there has been so much going on in the world that most of my alotted TV time has been spent watching the monsters of the world flaunt their power and intimidate the weak. Wait... maybe I should have watched the Olympics... anyway...

So, Gilmore Girls. Shhh... DO NOT TELL MY GIRLS... I really like that show. I just wish they didn't compare our relationships to the GGs. Just so unfair. I mean, how much witty banter can you have with your kids when you are flat out exhausted. Oh and too busy worrying about paying the bills as opposed to spending the trust fund... so jealous.

Well, dear... I'm finally bloggenating again. Can't wait to catch up...

D'Arcy said...

Gus, thank you...this HAS been one memorable summer!

D'Arcy said...

Marie...quite the sentiments...on pudding and the games....I'd LOVE to try some of your homemade pudding, it's always better homemade. Yum....five pounds for pudding...eh, it doesn't bother me that much. I guess because I am 6 feet tall, five pounds doesn't make the big of a difference. Now you know you could just dance it all away in your classy orange dress!

D'Arcy said...

Sugar!! I have been wondering where you've been. I am so glad you are back, I am heading to your blog right now!

Stephen said...

All I can say is that owning a few chickens makes sense.

As for the rice pudding, I used to like it ;)