Monday, October 6, 2008
Chemistry? Yeah Chemistry!!
One of the things I never really understood was how some relationships formed so easily. I seem to have only had troubled waters in this arena. When I was at BYU I was CONSTANTLY bombarded with hundreds of saccharine sweet engaged couples. Some getting married after only a few months of knowing of the other's existence. And I, completely baffled and incredulous, would ask how they KNEW it was right. More often than not, they would result to the syrupy cliche..."When it's right. It's right."
Um, yeah. Hasn't been that easy for me. But don't worry crowd, I'm not down about it. I love the way my life has played out!!
However, I just have to be curious. Was finding your mate easy for you? Did you know when your love came along?
I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this clip from "Guys and Dolls" because Sky totally knocks Sarah off her feet. He comes in and turns everything she thought she knew about love completely upside down. Did you marry the person you thought you would? Did you find yourself falling for someone that was exactly opposite from everything you ever imagined, but when you met, you just knew? I find this the most fascinating question on earth....who do you decide to marry?
Have you ever been SO attracted to someone that you just couldn't describe it? My friend and I were talking the other day about what a funny thing chemistry is. We've both had strong physical attractions to guys that didn't treat us so well. But then when we have met super nice guys, there is NO chemistry whatsoever. Since she dates more than I do, we will talk about her. She has been casually seeing this guy who she has AMAZING chemistry with. Seriously a beautiful thing. He makes her heart pound, butterflies flutter, and all that sweaty palm stuff that makes those dates worth dressing up for. The problem is, he doesn't call very often, he is forgetful, and he doesn't really plan things. Then, she goes out with another guy, sweet as can be, so attentive, asks her questions!! I mean, seriously, ASKS her questions (I've really ever known one man to do this in my acquaintance, but apparently she has found another). He is reliable and nice. He does everything right.
Can there be both, or do you have to sacrifice one for the other?
It's the old, cliche dilemma. Do you go for Marlon or do you go for James? You know what I mean. James is sweet and kind and a listener and faithful. But, for me at least, I have NEVER wanted to pull James Stewart into a passionate kiss and have my way with him (some of you do, I know). Or, do you go for Brando, a little dark, a little melancholy, a little distant---but sweeps you off your feet with one piercing stare and you can't keep your hands off of each other? I could make out with a young Brando for hours. HOURS. Hours.
My question is can chemistry grow? Can couples create a chemistry if given enough time? Or does it simply have to be there?
Those of you who are married, how did you know it was right? Is it timing or attraction or something else?