A Moveable Feast

If you are lucky enough to have lived in Paris as a young (wo)man, then wherever you go for the rest of your life, it stays with you, For Paris is a moveable feast." Ernest Hemingway

I've been working on relationships lately, namely: the one with myself. I planned this little summer getaway to Paris at a time when I really needed something to look forward to and plan about, and now the reality of it is almost upon me. I've got my house rented, I've got my summer dresses and my sandals bought, I'm finishing up the last weeks of the school year and I am so entirely happy. I can't wait to see what and who Paris will bring into my life. Each day is a powerful gift. Each moment, each thing I bring into my life is entirely of my (and your) own choosing. There is something so entirely free and delightsome in that fact.

So many people on so many paths to life. Last Sunday I went to the United Church of Christ with Alisa. It was a church with an awesome band (singing songs about the Long haired socialist Jew), a woman pastor, and a message that finally resonated with me. It's been a long time since I've attended a church where I didn't disagree with anything that was being said. The Pastor got up and gave us a message. Most Christians idealize the idea of being a sheep. Jesus is the shepherd. In the book of Matthew it talks about how Jesus needs to separate the sheep from the goats. The pastor got up and admitted that she herself is a goat. She was always going on unknown paths, not conforming to the crowd, not doing the things that maybe she was supposed to. The goats always seemed to have more spunk and spirit. They'd climb to the high cliffs and they'd forge their own paths. She also reminded all Christians that there truth isn't the only truth and that all of us on earth have different paths, but we're just trying to reach the same ends. One big beautiful tapestry of interwoven faith and beliefs.

I think my whole life I've been trying to be a sheep and I've been trying to let Jesus be my Shepherd.

The reality is, I'm a goat. Plain and simple.

Parisian Wardrobe

I've been carefully planning my summer elegance in Paris. Despite all the amazing people I am going to meet, the beautiful kisses I am going to have, and the divine inspiration of creativity that will pepper every minute, I've also been carefully buying summer dresses on sale during the cold winter months. I'll have to take some photos to show you, but this one is the latest purchase (and probably the final one) and I have to stay, I'll be pretty stunning in it as I walk around the warm city with my hair pulled back, my big sunglasses on, and a baguette in my hand.


Post Script:

I picked this one up for said Romantic Evenings. Don't worry, I've already got the red lipstick and the shoes.



Now let's just hope my hair flies about my face and body to the perfection of a VS model :)

Hello July

2009 is all aligned for amazing things. It's in the stars, but more importantly, it is in ME. 

I wanted to share with you my AMAZING apartment that I have secured for the month of July. Yes, for the month of July I will eat, sleep, and drink in Paris. I will speak and kiss in French. I will write by day and find at least 4 (one per week, is that a good goal?) French beauties to walk, talk, smile and flirt and sparkle with (with a hell-of-alot-a French kissing thrown in). I will enjoy being young, being talented, and being alive. I'm livin' all I can right now, but it would be hard not to admit that July has captured my heart.

Hello July.

Why Scream....when a Whisper will do?

Why scream, when a whisper will do? There are two ways I could talk about Paris...as I have before, with grand, articulate methods of adoration...OR...as I will today, in a calm, private whisper. Paris and I got reaquainted in quite ways. Walks up the Champs Elysees, sitting in a park watching the buslte, the creaking of the Louvre floors as I ventured up to my favorite Vermeer painting to have a conversation with the details of his art. I walked by this Grand Roule (big wheel) each day I was in Paris. It illuminated me.

Eating a succulent pear with the juice running down my arm as I slice it. Searching for a perfect baguette on a Sunday morning. Leaving my camera behind for the most part, and taking personal photos with my own memory. A cold, quiet walk through the cemetery on a rainy day. Looking out the window at the rooftops of Parisian apartments and feeling at home. Speaking French with everyone (I speak like a Canadian, apparently, at least that is what people kept telling me.) I took a stroll up the Christmas-Ready Champs Elysees almost nightly, taking in the Marche de Noel and watching the French be French.

Arriving in Paris, I immerged from a metro stop just by my favorite arc, in front of the Louvre, on Thanksgiving day-- feeling more grateful than I have in a long time. Paris is my friend, my confidant, my companion, my home, my seasons, my secret. Paris and I had long conversations. Paris and I understand one another. Paris and I take things slowly. Paris and I are grateful the other exists.

Oh dey foof!!

I used to speak French like a native (well, close to it) and now I fear that I speak French like Joey from "Friends".  It will be quiet interesting to see how I get around Paris this week. Hopefully, I'll be able to get my quiche, baguette, and chocolat chaud without any problems!!

I've been trying to read blogs and get caught up before I leave, but to no avail!! I promise to get all caught up with your beautiful lives when I get back!

Paris, here I come!

Chemistry? Yeah Chemistry!!

One of the things I never really understood was how some relationships formed so easily. I seem to have only had troubled waters in this arena. When I was at BYU I was CONSTANTLY bombarded with hundreds of saccharine sweet engaged couples. Some getting married after only a few months of knowing of the other's existence. And I, completely baffled and incredulous, would ask how they KNEW it was right. More often than not, they would result to the syrupy cliche..."When it's right. It's right."

Um, yeah. Hasn't been that easy for me. But don't worry crowd, I'm not down about it. I love the way my life has played out!!

However, I just have to be curious. Was finding your mate easy for you? Did you know when your love came along?

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this clip from "Guys and Dolls" because Sky totally knocks Sarah off her feet. He comes in and turns everything she thought she knew about love completely upside down. Did you marry the person you thought you would? Did you find yourself falling for someone that was exactly opposite from everything you ever imagined, but when you met, you just knew? I find this the most fascinating question on earth....who do you decide to marry?



Have you ever been SO attracted to someone that you just couldn't describe it? My friend and I were talking the other day about what a funny thing chemistry is. We've both had strong physical attractions to guys that didn't treat us so well. But then when we have met super nice guys, there is NO chemistry whatsoever. Since she dates more than I do, we will talk about her. She has been casually seeing this guy who she has AMAZING chemistry with. Seriously a beautiful thing. He makes her heart pound, butterflies flutter, and all that sweaty palm stuff that makes those dates worth dressing up for. The problem is, he doesn't call very often, he is forgetful, and he doesn't really plan things. Then, she goes out with another guy, sweet as can be, so attentive, asks her questions!! I mean, seriously, ASKS her questions (I've really ever known one man to do this in my acquaintance, but apparently she has found another). He is reliable and nice. He does everything right.

And yet.

And yet.


NO CHEMISTRY.


Can there be both, or do you have to sacrifice one for the other?



It's the old, cliche dilemma. Do you go for Marlon or do you go for James? You know what I mean. James is sweet and kind and a listener and faithful. But, for me at least, I have NEVER wanted to pull James Stewart into a passionate kiss and have my way with him (some of you do, I know). Or, do you go for Brando, a little dark, a little melancholy, a little distant---but sweeps you off your feet with one piercing stare and you can't keep your hands off of each other? I could make out with a young Brando for hours. HOURS. Hours.

Hours.



My question is can chemistry grow? Can couples create a chemistry if given enough time? Or does it simply have to be there?

Those of you who are married, how did you know it was right? Is it timing or attraction or something else?