Saturday, January 9, 2010

Perhaps Love...

How do you know when you love romantically? Can you describe it? I'm curious as to your definition. Many songs describe it. Many poets too. If you asked fifty people, they'd all say something different. One person can feel it, another feels it differently. How do you know when you're in love?

Perhaps love is like a resting place, A shelter from the storm
Perhaps love is like a window, Perhaps an open door
Oh, Love to some is like a cloud
To some as strong as steel
For some a way of living
For some a way to feel
And some say love is holding on
And some say letting go
And some say love is everything
And some say they don't know
Perhaps love is like the ocean
Full of conflict, full of pain
Like a fire when it's cold outside
Thunder when it rains
And some say love is everything
Some say they don't know

These pictures are of two beautifully hand-carved silver scenes I bought in Salzburg this summer. I bought two. They each have a man and a woman working together. I imagined each couple in love and I planned, this past Christmas, to give one of them to my then Boyfriend...and I would keep one. And my sweet visions saw to a day in the future where they would hang on our joint Christmas tree in a home we created together. They would remind us that love takes work and kindness and togetherness and all those good things you know it takes to keep it growing. You have to plant it. You have to prune it. Just like these tiny couples that stand no taller than three inches.

Seems so super romantic of me, doesn't it? I have both of them still...though almost, almost I gave one to him, even when I knew we'd never share a tree.

I've hung them up above my desk here in Switzerland. They make me happy. But, honestly, they don't make me want marriage or a relationship of any kind.

I have such a different idea for my life than I did this past summer. The truth is, I'm glad I'm not married. I'm glad I'm not tied to anyone or anyplace. The truth is, if I had married any of my past boyfriends, I'd not be here. I'd not be now. I'd not have the amazing conversation or drive up the mountain that I had last night. I'd not be planning my plans and growing my growth.

Sure, I could be other places and I could be happy. I'm just sort of a happy person. But for now, right now, I'm really, really grateful that all turned out as it did. That's not to slight my past "loves". It's not to say they were lacking in any way for me. It's just to say that, maybe, just maybe, those past loves weren't REALLY love. Because I have a feeling that real love tends to stick a bit longer. Again, I could be wrong. I've come to the conclusion that I'm not quite so sure if I know what romantic love is (I got the family and friend part down), at least for me. I've also come to the conclusion that I won't toss that word around lightly to romantic partners either. Next time I say it, well, I'm pretty sure it's gonna be to the one that sticks.


jomama said...

wow, D'Arcy, that WAS super-duper romantic of you. and i have no idea how to really define love. because i think there are, of course, all different kinds.
anway, i wanted to say thanks for commenting on my blog and you know i did that music post just for you! now YOU have to do a best albums or songs post of 2009. cause i want to know what you think!
p.s. i can't WAIT to come visit you.

Nubian said...

Love is anything you want it to be... you are in control!

Tender Mercies said...

There's a really random song from a random musical that I've never seen but I love the song: "We'll Make Our Garden Grow" from Candide. I love the reference to our preconceived idea of love as sugar cakes and dreams, and the reality of working to chop the wood and bake the bread and make our garden grow--together. I believe love is work. And I believe that even thought I'm not now married, I have loved--and I'm grateful for all those bits and pieces of love I've experienced in various relationships. They have all taught me different things about love. It's work that makes love stick.

Here's to love, my friend! Happy New Year!

slcparalegal said...

I don't know a whole lot about the history of this song but there are several different versions, the most popular one being jointly performed with Placido Domingo. Placido opens the song, and although Placido is a great singer, what I've always loved about this song is how refreshing John's voice sounds when he comes in.

I believe the answer to almost every question can be found in a John Denver song.

D'Arcy said...

Thanks Jomama---but you know, I really think you DO know how to define it a little, don't you. How do you think it differs between your husband and your children?

Nubian--Wow, I'm in control? But it feels so out of control sometimes and there are people I would have chosen NOT to fall in love with, at least to the depth that I did, but I didn't feel like I had much choice....more details please.

Tender Mercies...SO SO good to hear from you roomie! Doesn't it seem so long ago we were eating the best darn apple cider donuts in the world? I think I know what you mean. I like the idea of love taking work. I'm pretty sure it sticks when you're both willing to put in the same about of work...the imbalance comes when one of you wants more than the other, we've been on either side of that coin, I know.

SLCPar---You are the biggest John Denver expert I know, so I'll agree with you. Can you tell me what John Denver song answers the question about reincarnation...cause I really want to know that.