Monday, July 14, 2008
My Violin Made Me Cry Today....
So, as a poor school teacher who went to NYU and now has considerable student loans (without the promise of ever making big bucks), I've been thinking about how I can get some extra money to pay things down. I thought about slowly selling some things off that I just don't use that much anymore. That way cleaning house at the same time. One of my ideas was to sell my violin. I didn't think I had too many feelings about this. This violin was purchased in full a month after I returned from France. I knew I had to pay for school tuition and everything else, but I also wanted to get something just for me. Growing up I had taken lessons and been in the orchestra (my mom had rented me a violin during the school year from the school) and I really longed to play a musical instrument well (it's a dream of mine to be really musical!).
I came home from France, purchased the violin and even had money set aside for lessons. I was able to take lessons for a whole year and see some amazing progress and I delighted in the gifts of Bach, Mozart and Vivaldi (even the simplified versions that I was playing). Then life happened. I was a poor student. I was working. I had to pay the tuition and bills. I stopped taking lessons, but I would pick it up now and then and enjoy my talent.
Then I started traveling and moving and living like a nomad for the next decade. My violin was lovingly stored in my parent's house this entire time. I'd take it out when I would be home on breaks and play it occasionally, but decided that maybe I had no real time or talent for the violin.
So now, ten years to the date that I bought it, I decided to sell it. I listed it yesterday, very cheaply at $400.00, not even a third of what I paid for it. I got a response. She just stopped by. She started playing it and tears came to my eyes, I forgot how beautiful it sounded. i forgot how much I longed to be good at this. I knew she wanted to buy it, but she wanted me to come down on the price. I told her no, and she left and said she would call her husband, but maybe they could pay what I was asking. She said she would call me tonight.
And now, I am sitting here, looking at my violin and feeling like I just can't let it go. That maybe one day I can afford lessons again. Maybe one day I could help my son or daughter learn this instrument. Maybe one day it will do more than sit in my closet.
Four hundred dollars quickly fades away into nothing right? Is it better to keep struggling while I sit with some beautiful things around me, or is it more responsible to sell these beautiful things and start paying off some debt? Sometimes I just really hate being a grown up.
Yes, my violin. I cried when I actually bought it as it was my first big purchase ever and I was so proud! Now I am feel the pinprick of tears at the thought of selling it. And usually, I pride myself on not crying that much.