Friday, April 3, 2009

Wanting...

Here is what I created today. I am calling it "Same". I really like it. It's two separate paintings that will be placed next to each other. I'm framing them tomorrow and will be able to get some better shots of it with the good camera. These were taken under some bad lighting. But I like them. I like them a lot. I'm hoping that I can sell a painting or two in the next couple of months so I can finally have enough money to buy oils.
A lot of people have asked me what I want lately, truthfully, I've been the most insistent with myself. "What do you want D'Arcy girl?" I know what I should want. One part of me wants a PhD and to be powerful and smart and sophisticated. The other part of me would like to find that person that I could be with for a couple of years and have a kid...just one. Part of me wants to move to New  York to be in the heat of it all. Part of me wants to move to California to be in the cool of it all.
And yet, when I keep looking at what I want, what I really want...it's to help people. Plain and simple. I feel my profession is perfect for this. I feel I am good at it. I feel great pride and joy in my daily activities. But I also need more. I want to look at ways of donating my time to do more. I'm thinking of donating my summers to teaching English in Asia or Thailand. If I live frugally I could do this, without any other motive than to help.

When I think about what I REALLY want, I want to help people. I'm an educator. So, I'd like to educate. So many people, women especially, are searching for that, education frees. Sometimes I wonder if I don't need to seek after the prestige of the PhD or the cliche of a husband...and just wander the world, learning and living with it's people.

I'm looking to do this for summer of 2010. If you know any places that come to mind, let me know.

7 comments:

eleanor said...

D'Arcy!!!
Beautiful paintings. I really love the style of them and, of course, that you're trying to say something with them. Can't believe you turned it out in one night.
Beautiful.

Holls said...

I'm not going to lie.. We are pretty cool here in California...

I have a friend who was an English teacher in Taiwan. She absolutely loved it! I can get you the info if you like?

LOVE the paintings!

Bethany said...

Amazing paintings!

Rowena said...

Love these paintings. They're beautiful. Is there some reason why you can not do all those things, though? You can be a mom and help people and get your PhD. It may be harder, but who says good things should be easy?

Ruahines said...

Kia ora D'Arcy,
We need good teachers here in New Zealand! Love your paintings.
Aroha,
Robb

HappyWifeHappyLife said...

The paintings are beautiful, my friend. You are so incredibly talented.

I've long struggled with my desire to be SO many things and to SERVE in so many places... but, for this chapter in my life, I am serving HERE, where I am planted (yes, I know that's a corny cliche, but it's true).

However, my church does a ton of mission work, but locally and worldwide. In fact, we just started a mission for women who are incarcerated. I've felt a press to enter into that, so I think I will...

My thoughts? Meditate on it, pray about it, and see where you feel led....

D'Arcy said...

Rowena, I have to be honest, your comment is staying with me. I think there will be a way that I can do all that I want. I love that we all have the options of living ALL of our dreams.