Friday, June 20, 2008
Seeing With Eyes of Love
How do you see yourself? How do you love yourself? How do you feel about your body? Did you know that the relationship between you and your body can become one of the most beautiful relationships of your life? Our minds can be so cruel to our bodies, can't they? The mind usually says things like, "No, I don't like this part of my body. Look at my nose; I don't like my nose. My ears--they are too large. My legs are too short, or too long, or too whatever. But the secret is, your body is perfect the way it is. We all have some crazy misconceptions about what is right and wrong, what is good or bad, what is beautiful and ugly. They are just concepts, but we believe them, and we judge ourselves by them. We have an image of perfection in our mind and we expect our bodies to somehow try to meet this image and be a certain way...if it is not that way, then we think we are ugly and imperfect.
Look at what you think about your own body, do you love it and accept it, or do you hate it and reject it? If you accept your own body, than I think you can accept almost everyone, almost everything. If you reject your own body, what can people expect from you? Do you inwardly criticize others to make yourself feel better? I think accepting your own body is very important in your relationships with others. If you reject your own body, when you are sharing your love with your partner, you become shy. You think, "Look at my body. how can he love me when I have a body like this?" And in the process, you kind of reject yourself, and you assume that everyone else will reject you too for the same reasons.
To create a relationship that stands happily on solid ground, you have to love your body. You have to respect your body. You have to let your body be free to give, free to receive, without being shy, because shyness is nothing but fear.
You know, there is really no problem with being gorgeous. With thinking that you are the cat's meow. If you walk through a crowd of people (especially a crowd of Italian men in Florence) and they tell you, "Oh, you are beautiful!" and you can say, "Thank you, I know," and keep going- (which sounds really arrogant, but I am thinking more about the thoughts you have in your head when someone compliments you). Their compliments don't really make a difference in how you see yourself. However, it will make a difference if you don't believe that you are special and beautiful and wonderful. If you don't believe that and someone tells you you are beautiful, then you are going to say, "Am I really?" Their opinions can impress you, and draw you to them, and yes, in a street full of Italians, make you easy prey. You feel that you get worth from their words, instead of finding the worth inside yourself. You are going to believe that they are responsible for making you happy, which is a big-BIG relationship no-no.
What is important are not all those opinions from others, but your own opinions. You are beautiful no matter what your mind tells you. That is a fact. You don't have to do anything because you already have the beauty you need. To be beautiful you don't have any obligation to anyone. Others are free to see what they want to see. If others see you and judge you beautiful or not, if you are aware of your own beauty and accept your own beauty, their opinion doesn't affect you at all.
Beauty is really nothing but a concept, nothing but a belief. It can get to the point, which I sadly think that it is in our plastic-beauty-world, where you may base your power on that beauty. Time passes, and you see yourself getting old. Perhaps you are not as beautiful as you were from your point of view, and a younger woman comes along who is now the one who is "beautiful". Time for plastic surgery, to try and keep the power because we believe that our beauty is our power. Our own aging starts to hurt us. "My beauty is going away!! Will my man still love me if I am not as attractive? Now he can see other women who are more attractive than me."
We resist aging; we believe that because someone is old, it means she is not beautiful. This belief is so wrong. If you see a newborn baby, it is beautiful, perfect. An old person is also beautiful, every stage of life is precious and beautiful. The problem is the emotion we have in our eyes to perceive what is and what is not beautiful. We have all these judgments, all these programs that put limits on our own happiness, that push us to self-rejection and to reject other people also. Can you see how we play the drama? How we kind of set ourselves up for failure with all these beliefs?
Aging is something beautiful. Growing up is beautiful. You are what you believe you are. You are beautiful.